Confessions(C) of a Software(S) Engineer(E)..(CSE)!!!

It was raining heavily outside. Dark clouds gathered in the sky and nature was in its ominous best. I took a break from my work and went to the pantry to grab a cup of coffee. I had a sip and went near the window to see the rain pouring down heavily outside the glass structure. I was inside our huge office building, unruffled by even the fierceness of the nature.

Through the heavy transparent glass, I could see a small girl trying to hold on to her umbrella which the wind was snatching away from her. I felt sorry for the girl, and was happy that I was not in a similar pathetic situation. Yes. I take pride for the fact that I am a software engineer.

I have everything which a common man would envy; money, status, respect, you name it I have it . I always wanted to be software professional and here I am, working for one of the best firms in the world. But then, am I really happy? Now, I could see an imprint of my palm on the other glass window, through which I reminisced my past, basked in the warmth of the sun shine.

My childhood was so much of fun. I vividly remember those rainy days, when I hugged my mother tightly during sleeping listening to all the stories told by her. Now, I have a big house here, but then it is just a house, not a home. My parents are pretty far away from me now. I have a cell phone to talk to them everyday, but then I really miss those dinners which I had with my family everyday. I could easily afford to taste all the different cuisines these days, but the best of food there, lack the love and affection which is present in the food prepared by my mother.

I threw a lavish party for my colleagues for my birthday, but then they would never replace the birthdays when my friends secretly brought a cake and at the end, half of the cake would have ended up on my face . The couple of hundred bucks that u save for a long period just to give a treat to your friends in the road side chat shop can never give the pleasure even after spending a few thousand bucks these days.

The scene of me crying and refusing to have dinner on the day when I fought with my best friend came to my mind. Today, she has gone far away from me, taking away my love and with it my life, but I am sitting and coding here with a false smile on my face. Everyday I meet new people, but then I long ceased to make a new friend.

It's true that I have a lot of things now. I have a nice bed, but no time to sleep. Lots of money, but no friends to spend it with. The latest designer clothes, but a worn out body . Awards for technical excellence, but no reward for the crave for peaceful ambience. A confident demeanor, but a reluctant and apathetic mind. Full of rain, but no sunshine even in the farthest distance.

Now, I could see the small girl on the road enjoying in the rain with her umbrella firmly in her grip. She might not have all the comforts which I have, but then she has the innocence and fun which I lost a long time back.

I have decided to come out of this false fantasy, even if it is at the expense of losing the tap of the software engineer. I am going to again enjoy my life. I am going to go out in the rain and play with the small kid now. I removed my tie, and went near my computer to shut it down. Just then, I saw a new mail alert in my mail box. I slowly opened outlook and I found a message from my manager with an attachment saying that there was a critical defect in the code and I have to fix it soon. I convinced myself that I am not going to get bogged down again by these pressures and stick to my decision. I ignored the mail and went to the rest room. After a couple of minutes, the software engineer in me came out, his shirt tucked in with the perfect tie knot, sat before the computer, and started typing,

Hi XYZ,

I am looking into the defect and will send the patch files before EOD.

Good Old College Days

Four years just passed by like the waves in the sea. Some moments I still cherish for they are still afresh.

It was the first day in college; parents were busy packing my bags to drop me at the college. “This shall be your new life starting just now” they said. At last I shall be independent I sighed and was glad.

I was still a kid, just out of +2 still struggling between child and human hood. There were lot thoughts, little money and big big dreams. As I walked in the corridor, my heart started beating even faster. Any body could guess I was a fresher for I was accompanied by others more or less like me.

Finally I was dropped in the classroom and asked to sit thankfully not next to a girl. I don't understand why some guys like me always feel uncomfortable with all small things like these.
I saw a girl, She was pretty, she smelled rose. I just closed my eyes and smelled her more. Then I turned and saw more of girls. I was happy I was glad for this was the best place I could have had.

Lot of handshakes lot of stories, lot of friends and very little study; it went on till Lunch. It was a quieter one as nobody would dare to go to the canteen at least not int eh first year. I always had a different perception of engineering life that's may be because of the effect of the movies we see.

Soon came the evening, or should I say the time for ragging. All were ragged inside the college buses scary punishments but understanding seniors. We were slapped, rebuked sometimes but still we were sportive all the time. I still remember, it was time for the internals and seniors asked us all to complete their assignments and write their notes. It went on for a month but it was all fun.

I still regret that we haven't had a fresher’s day, that has let us down and moreover it didn't gave us a chance to know others well.

We enjoyed while in the class. Teased the professor, threw chalks. Ate chocolates, played games and never listened. Bunked the classes went for movies. Sometimes hanged in canteen. There was little money more of love.

Then came the scary exams, the last minute notes, the night outs, getting behind profs for scores and preparing ourselves till just 20 minutes before the exam.

Once the results were out we would sigh “We need to do better next time”. But nothing changed on the academics side, rather love started booming in the mind. Most of my friends have met their lady love. Now life seemed to be brighter for some of them .

We had a batch of around ten, i would rather say regular ten and beach was the most common chill out place for us. The JASTI Square Panipuri one day and sometimes we chilled out at the chat waala at the beach. We enjoyed to the peak and we know that these days will never come back.

Finally the placements came, and all of us got jobs. It was now the final week, all of us were in tears. We thought would disappear our chit chats in the stair cases, our laughter in the canteen, the bottle of wine, the small cigarette, the borrowing of money, the late night talks, and finally the circle of friends.

Today….there is money lots of it…there is a job…and lots of cigarettes; But no friends. Friends I miss you all and my good old College days.

Hello World...!!!

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